Balance

Life comes in spurts. There are periods of being busy. Times when you feel like you can barely breathe because of the speed at which life is coming at you. Months where you look at the calendar and every weekend between May and September has a name to it.

And then there are moments and time of monotony. When you wonder what you are going to do for the rest of the day or tomorrow. A time when you feel as though you haven't done a whole lot of meaningful things and you need to make some goals so that each day has purpose.

I am happiest when I am balanced. A balance of time that is purposeful and planned out so that I know that I am doing things for other people and enough time where there is nothing planned so that I can stay at home with the kids and paint pictures or read books or drop everything and go to the lake for the day. Balance is good.

I have recently realized that I have over-committed myself. I have missed a lot of important things the past month. But the reason why I missed out on these things was because I was too busy. I needed less in my life and I couldn't be Supermom and make it to everything so something had to give. I hate this part of humanity, because in my heart all these little things are very important to me and I want to be there for everyone, but I am reminded once again that I am just one person. And on top of that I am one person that is the caretaker of 2 other little people and the manager of the family schedule in many ways. It's hard to keep 4 people's schedule straight sometimes.

So after having experienced this, I have come to the realization again that I am human, not Supermom, and I am only one person and I can only be in one place at a time. And I need to slow down. I need some more nothing so that I can be prepared for a time of purpose. So I recently said no to something even though I wanted to do it. It was hard for me to not commit to it. I am ashamed in some ways because I know I could have pushed through and accomplished that one other thing, but at the same time, if I say yes, that means I'm saying no to something else. So I have to say no. And it's ok. And I will be glad later. And my life will have even more balance and more purpose. And I can be an even better Supermom by keeping my life and the lives of my 2 kids in order and balance. This is a difficult and important lesson for me to learn, but at least I am starting to learn instead of making the same mistake over and over.

Here is to learning the art of balance in life.